"Here I Am Nothing....and Here I Am Everything"

I wanted to share a story in light of the Blood Moon, Lunar eclipse we are experiencing tonight.  This is really such a special time in our Earth's history.  As many have talked about, this is a great shift on our planet.  This downpour of divine energy is facilitating a rise in our collective consciousness to bring us all to more of a place of love and unity.  As many have mentioned, it has also been a time of sorting through old beliefs, patterns, and attachments.  We can move into this new energy easily if we are able to let go of what no longer serves us.  I can feel the buzz in the air as our generations past and future gather to assist us in becoming more evolved.  It is a softer more beautiful energy than I have ever felt here before and I can feel the excitement.  It is also a time of great reflection into ourselves, into our core make-up and allowing ourselves to align with the highest light that resides within us.  We are being asked to  awaken to our unique gifts and powerfully step into our soul calling rather than just work to earn a paycheck.  We are all being asked to share our light and inspire others to allow their healing to happen. 

I was recently blessed to attend a Native American Spirit Dance that was held in the mountains above Strawberry Reservoir.  I had been going to sweat lodges for years with these people but had never been able to attend a spirit dance. 

This particular dance has been a practice of the Lakota Sioux Indian tribe and consists of three days of sweat lodges, fasting, dancing, praying, and meditating which was exactly what I needed at the time I went.  I was so grateful and honored to be allowed to dance in this sacred ceremony.  The intention of this dance is to bring healing and love to mother earth and to give gratitude for all that she provides.  It is to ask for healing for all who may need it and to connect more deeply with the creator.  It was an amazing experience that I will continue each year as long as I am able. 

As I began my weekend ritual, I had the intention of letting go of ego that may be blocking me and to be able connect to myself and God more clearly.  I felt that I was really going through a personal shift and was having a hard time letting go of pain and fear.  As we started into our first dance, I was really in the physical temporal mind of the experience.  I was thinking about how hot the ground felt on the dry dirt underneath me and "how awful I must look right now with no make-up and a bandana wrapped around my crazy curly hair."  I was thinking that I had just sweated twice and had nothing to clean off with except a river, which I was grateful to have, but I was sure that the flies swarming around me indicated that it was not quite the same as a bath.  I was looking around at everyone else as the drum beat forcefully and the singers sang the beautiful songs of the Lakota people.  I started to sway and pick up my feet with the beat of the drum but I was watching everyone else to see exactly what this was supposed to look like.  My moves were small and conservative and I felt so self conscious, as I wanted to make sure that I blended into this dance.  Pretty soon, the other dancers started to pray and dance around in beautiful worship of the Universe around us.  I felt the energy gather.  I felt my own beloved ancestors gather around me.  I felt surrounded in the love of the experience.  I began to move with the drum and feel the words travel through my soul.  I felt the collective love of all the other dancers gather together with the surrounding trees, the animals, and the elements.  We were dancing in synch with each other and the drum started to resonate like a heart beat within me.  I started to let go of what was around me and immerse myself in this sacred dance.  I started to come alive again.  I started to dance and sing along with the music and before I knew it, I  became like a child who was filled with absolute joy in being in this moment.  I had no worries.  In this moment, I realized that nobody there knew nor cared that I did healing work, nobody cared what car I drove, the amount of money in my bank account, the mistakes I had made, or where I had been in my life.  All they knew is that I was a part of connection and that in our collective prayers, we were healing ourselves and others.  All I knew was that I was one with all that was and I WAS LOVE.  I WAS THE UNIVERSE.  I felt like I was truly dancing with the CREATOR. 

As this peace washed over me, tears filled my eyes.  I began to give gratitude for this experience.  All of the sudden, the words came to my heart, "IN THIS MOMENT I AM NOTHING....AND IN THIS MOMENT I AM EVERYTHING."  When I lost all of my labels, all of my identity, all of my attachments to who I thought I was, I remembered.....and then I became connected to EVERYTHING. 

It was one of the most humbling yet empowering moments in my life.  I am realizing the more that I am just a vessel to reflect light and love, the less attached I feel to the outcome or the belief that it has to look a certain way  I was able to let go of the pain that the past year's experiences brought and be filled with new life.  I have not been the same since that experience and I pray I never will be.  I pray to make myself small and my Creator big.  I pray that through me, the light of love will pass through and be amplified for others to see who they truly are.  I pray to be open and accepting of all in whatever path they are walking and to be a vessel of pure love without judgment, even judgment for myself.  I am so grateful to be moving into this greater awakening and to gather together in support and acceptance for all.  I am honored to be surrounded by so many who are walking this journey in love.  You are so inspiring to me! 

I know it is difficult to let go of past pain and heartache, past patterns and beliefs, but new life is waiting for you on the other side.  The emotions you feel just need to be felt, recognized, and thanked to be released. The surrender brings rebirth and all of the joy you deserve.  It is not about doing more....it is just about being more.  You are already so much more then enough!  LET GO AND JUST BE! 

Lots of love to you all! 
Tami Robinson