"I Love Who I AM"

I am so blessed to call this amazing young lady my daughter.  Her light is enormous and I am so proud of her for sharing it!

Reegan Gleave

My name is Reegan Gleave and i was born with Amniotic Band Syndrome. Amniotic Band Syndrome (ABS) is a congenital birth defect caused by the partial rupture of the amniotic sack. Fibrous bands float around in the amniotic fluid. These sticky bands can get wrapped around and trap limbs, cut off blood supply causing dead limbs, or a complete "natural" amputation. ABS is often difficult to detect before birth because the individual strands are small and hard to see in an ultrasound. I had my first surgery when i was 5 days old and had many through the years of my childhood.
As a parent of a child with ABS my parents felt many different emotions. At first shock because they had not seen any deformities besides my club foot in any ultrasounds. My mom felt so much guilt because she thought that she had somehow caused this. Sadness as they thought about all of the things that i wouldn't be able to do..none of which happened. They were so grateful because it didn't take my arms, legs, face, or my life...many don't survive pregnancy because the sack breaks. A lot of stress and worry during surgeries, but again grateful because I had the most amazing care. They also felt very prideful through the years because of how i have handled my disABILITY and how i taught my family and friends to be strong and brave.
Growing up i had no idea i was different. I had the most amazing parents and family who loved me so much and never ever treated me different. The day i went to my first day of head start i knew immediately that i was not like the rest of the students. I had difficulties writing and using my scissors. My teacher kept trying to make me write right handed and i remember being so frustrated because i am left handed. I always felt i was at the bottom of the class, and i had one major bully who would tease me until i cried. I told my aunt about the bully and she told me to go to school the next day and tell him that if he didn't stop my aunt was going to come to school and pull his underwear over his head. I said exactly that and he never again bullied me. One night i was sitting in my bed and i remember wondering when exactly i became weird or different, i didn't want to be seen that way. I had a stuffed dog that my uncle gave me and i would sit and talk to it like it was real. That night i told it that I am not stupid! I decided i wanted people to see the things that i could do instead of what i had a hard time doing.
In preschool i was the first person in my class to tie my own shoes, which is the first story my grandpa tells everyone about me. The students had gotten used to me and were really accepting me for the most part, surprisingly more than some adults. In second grade my family moved away, i had to go to a new school, try to make new friends, and answer new questions. I was so worried and so scared for my first day of school. My mom knew how terrified i was and I think secretly she was a little scared herself. So she came to school with me, walked me to my class, and asked my teacher if she could sit down and talk to the students for a moment. She explained what had happened to me and that i am just like everyone else. After she left my classmates completely accepted me and it was no big deal. I will forever be grateful for my moms courage to stand up for me. She set the example that i needed to always stand up for myself and not hide who i am.
Through the years of elementary school life was pretty easy i had an occasional bully but i got really good at shutting them down and walking away. Then came middle school and my peers became brutal. The kids would often make fun of me and call me "joystick" because they said my fingers looked like game controllers. That really hurt, I started feeling ugly, stupid, and handicapped. I felt like an exhibit in the zoo, People just stared at me like i was some kind of species that they had never heard of. I started fighting and eventually just ate lunch with the assisted principle.
My parents got divorced in the middle of my seventh grade year. We moved again. At my new school i tried really hard to blend in and just stick with myself so nobody would notice my hands. This period in my life was awful i was so down on myself constantly, but then a girl in school invited me to sit next to her in art class. She became my very best friend in the whole world, Jayden invited me to go to church with her, where her dad was the pastor, I started going often and I had never felt so accepted. Jayden literally saved my life.
Living with ABS has had its challenges and I've worried about so many things like, if a boy would notice my hands on a date, or I'd never be able to get my nails done, I wondered if I'd ever get married, and now i worry that my future children will be teased because of my differences.
I used to walk around with my hands in a fist and you would never see me in any kind of open toe shoes. At times i held myself back socially because i didn't think i was good enough. I started partying just to fit in with some kind of crowd. I finally began to really get it through my head that i was than that. I am worth so much more than partying and being down on myself. I began to pick up my pieces and put them back together. I learned that having a good sense of humor was the best way for me to cope with my hands and feet. I love to make up stories when people ask me what happened, my favorite is " I got bit by a shark." Thankfully i was born with a spit fire attitude and if you don't like me its your loss, if you tell me i can't do something i'll do it twice.
My name is Reegan Gleave and I am a survivor. After twenty years i finally love who I am. I am so thankful for all of my trials because each one has taught me something incredible. I've learned bullies are just sad and little on the inside and are scared of the light that I bring to this world. I've learned compassion, true friendship, love, and determination. I learned not to be a victim but to use my trials to make me stronger so that i can help bring hope and inspiration to peoples lives.
Living with ABS has been the biggest blessing I could have ever asked for, it has brought some amazing and loving people into my life. Especially my wonderful husband. It takes a very special man to be able to look past my differences and love me for who i really am on the inside and not care what anybody thinks about me. I am forever grateful for the unconditional love and support I get from him every single day. He has made me believe in myself and my beauty. He has given me the courage to show myself to people in a way I would have never done before.
My inspiration for sharing my story is that somewhere there is someone who felt like I did, and needs to know there is always hope and you are never alone.
Always let your light shine bright, God only gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors.
I LOVE WHO I AM!!!!!

"A Light In the Darkness"

If I had a nickel for every time I am asked this question.....  Well I would have a lot of nickels!  "Do you ever get dark spirits?"  I have met so many people who say that they have experienced some form of darkness from the other side and have made the choice to shut off communication because they were afraid.

This is a very real and a very valid concern and one that I am so happy to teach about.  The lower vibrational world is very real and can be very present in our lives.  They like to remain in the darkness and even in writing this, I feel resistance....they do not like to be exposed, this sheds light on them and if we bring them into the light, we no longer fear them.  When we no longer fear, they become powerless.

I had many experiences growing up, both light and dark.  The darkness became just as real to me as the light.  I was terrified and asked for a blessing to block this kind of communication.  In doing that, I blocked a lot of the light communication as well.  In looking back, I am grateful that I was not allowed to open the doors to the extent that they are now.  I was just not spiritually and emotionally capable of handling the magnitude of this then.  Although the darkness stopped, I did miss the light communicators.  They were always there but I couldn't feel them in the same way.  At a very deep soul level, I missed them and I was lonely.

As I started doing more spiritual work and opening my gifts back up, I was very aware of the possibility of opening a portal to both sides.  I remembered the experiences I had when I was younger and realized that those experiences gave contrast.  I knew the importance of working only with the highest light.  It was a process of learning to shield and protect my spirit and the people I was working with so that only the lightness could be felt.  I worked very hard at this and focused a lot on "Not letting the darkness in, fighting the dark side."    It was exhausting!  At some level, I was operating out of fear and feeling the need to resist the low energy.  Then one day...the light turned on, literally.  I needed to experience light.  I, myself, did not understand that I truly was capable and deserving to work with the healing energy of Christ.  I saw only my darkness and realized that I was not fighting the darkness outside of me, but within.  The only way that I could really know Christ and allow that healing light to work through me, was to experience the healing first-hand, to surrender.  The merciful soul that he is, saw me as a beloved and allowed me to experience the light...complete, non-judgmental, unconditional loving light. I forget often....I am reminded daily.  I am appreciative beyond words.  The healing that God provides is unmatched in its completeness and can never be substituted or imitated by anything else.

But guess what,.....I would not have searched, I would not have surrendered, I would not have even known there was peace and joy at this level without the contrast of the dark experiences.  So in that, I am grateful.  You cannot ever "fight" the darkness.  It feeds off of "fight."  It feeds off of fear, doubts, insecurities, it loves the inner critic we often carry and grows in its influence.  Turn the light on.  You can never walk into a dark room and be upset enough to get the light to turn on ...the darkness added to darkness is still darkness.  Turn the light on by prayer, by calling on angels, by believing that the light is always more powerful then the darkness.  Light will always win!  Most importantly, love yourself!  Don't hate the darkness.  You cannot see the light of a candle or the beautiful stars shining without the darkness.  It gives us contrast and our job is to recognize it as such without giving it any more attention then that....turn on the light.

Here is the other thing I learned, when I made the choice to work only in the highest light and only in Christ centered healing, the darkness has become very small. It shows up when I am working with clients, only to be healed.  Interestingly enough, these low energy entities know that they have no presence here and that they will not be allowed to stay so only those who are seeking healing make themselves known.   And to go one step further, the loving energy of Christ's healing offers them direction as well.  Often times, we get to help guide  them to the light.

I feel inspired to share a recent experience.  I will admit, this was unnerving,  but it was such a great example of the contrast I am grateful it happened.  I was out of state doing a group session.  I am very careful to dedicate each session to healing and to only allow those who are working in the highest light to give messages.  We had a room full of people and messages were flowing in for people in the group, when all of the sudden, a man rushed in from the other side.  I could feel that he did not come alone he brought such a desperate energy that I could not move past him.  I asked him what he needed and he showed me a picture of walking back and forth on a dark rainy road.  He was pacing and was so upset, he said he did not understand what happened and he needed to talk.  Finally a lady recognized who this was.  He was a dear cousin of hers that had died unexpectedly and suspiciously.  She said that he had been on her mind constantly and she felt compelled to find some answers.  He gave me the feeling of betrayal and showed that their were other people present in his death.  He also said, "cloudy mind."  I was not comfortable with his presence and asked if I could talk to him later and help him with some healing.  Still, he would not leave and his presence was so strong.  I again asked him to leave and he did step back but I could still feel his desperation.  I could not move past it and was unable to continue with messages for other people.  I asked the angels and God to clear the room and fill it with light so that we could continue.  The energy lightened and I was somewhat able to continue, knowing, however that he was waiting.  When the session was over, needless to say, I was disturbed.  This had never happened.  The spirits I worked with were always so peaceful and healing.  I prayed for help in being able to help him in the highest light.  I decided to have his sweet cousin meet with me privately the next day.  She was more then happy to do this. 

We met the next day and I had taken extra measures and had asked for all available help in making sure this would be a loving, healing experience for everyone involved.  As we began, this man came back into the room with a completely different presence.  He was actually wearing a tie and winked at her saying,  "I'll behave this time."  He also said that his cousin here had already done so much work for him by praying and sending him light.  She said that she had talked to him all night and had asked for his family members on the other side to greet him.  He then started to show me pictures of a woman putting pills in his mouth.  He gave me the feeling of confusion and not being aware of what was really going on around him.  He then gave me the feeling that he was very afraid to face his father on the other side.  Apparently, this woman who had given him pills was a girlfriend who had been taking care of him and managing his medications.  He trusted her so much that he had, just prior to his passing, willed his entire family estate, including the family farm, to her.  His cousin confirmed that they had suspected this.  The autopsy report showed that he had an excessive amount of blood pressure medications, causing his death.  Interestingly enough, this man was not worried about justice or blame for his suspected "murder."  His only concern was in facing his father.  He actually had not crossed over into the light completely because of his fear of disappointing his father.  We talked to him and asked if we could help him be able to do this with the help of Christ and he agreed.  As soon as he agreed, he was greeted by his mother and a room full of angels.  I saw them clear a path so that he could walk to his father.  He walked forward with his head down, full of shame and humility.  As he approached his father, I saw his dad grab him and hug him and tell him that everything was okay.  He said that the family farm had consumed him and he did not want him, or anyone else to have to carry that burden any longer.  As this man experienced the acceptance from his father, the light rushed in.  It was the most intense love and we could feel the instant healing that this sweet man experienced.  He was so emotional and grateful for the work his cousin had done for him.  She was very tearful and could feel the peace that her cousin was feeling.  He told her that they had a "soul contract" and that she had agreed to help him through this experience and he was eternally grateful.

I will admit, this experience rocked me a bit.  I was shaken by the force at which this soul wanted healing.  Apparently, he was this persistent in the physical world.  But we learned so much.  We witnessed the contrast in the most dramatic way.  His cousin and I felt the desperation and the equal measure of peace and joy that came on the other end of the spectrum.  It was amazing!

 I often teach people how to allow gifts to open safely and I am going to list some of the things that have worked for me.  It is important to find what resonates with you and be consistent about it. 

Clear the space around you.  I do this with either sage or sage oil.  I clear it out with the intent that only the highest light is allowed to be in it.  Also, open a window and keep love in your heart while clearing the space.  

I also say often, "In the name of Jesus Christ, I command all unholy, impure, or less useful spirits to depart.  Depart from this planet and this universe as well and go to the light." (I don't want to send them to another person on the planet...I want them to experience healing in the light.)

I then ask for protection from angels, Heavenly Father, Heavenly Mother, and Jesus Christ.  Ask whomever resonates with you...even if you ask for spirits of light to protect you, it's all about intent.  Archangels are very powerful protectors, especially Archangel Michael, we can all call on them we need extra help.  You can also place protection over your children because you have stewardship over them.  Praying for your loved ones and asking for protection for them provides that also. 

Feel confident that you are protected and dedicate your work, meditation, day, or whatever it is, to the highest light. Not only does the light repel the dark, but working in the healing light of Christ actually transcends negative energy to healing energy and love. 

I love oils!  I feel that they really help to attract higher vibrational energies.

Focus on the light!  Whatever you feed will grow.  Stay in a place of love and surround yourself with that energy in your home, your car, your work......wherever you spend your time.

Relax and be happy.  Focus on gratitude.  It is one of the highest vibrational energies and fear cannot exist in the same realm.

Know that we get to set the boundaries.  If we are feeling overwhelmed or depleted, know that we can set an intention of the work that we can do. There have been times when I have said, "I can only help 2 spirits a day."  They respect your boundaries and your angels and guides will teach you what your boundaries need to feel like.

One of the most important lessons I have learned, is to trust Christ.  To recognize that I am not doing the healing, therefore, I cannot hold the emotions of the experience once the healing is done.  Believe me, I have tried.  We have to continually surrender the emotions and give it to a higher power.  It is a show of trust and faith when we are able to do this and allows us to truly be a vessel, working as a partner with God in healing each other.

Last but not least, know that we are all vessels.  We are just made that way.  We are carriers of energy and the beautiful part is that we get to choose!  We all have EQUAL access to the love from source.  Our job is to surrender any emotions or belief that we are less then deserving of that.  We are ONE.  We are all the light, we are all the love, WE ARE ALL ONE WITH DIVINITY.  The only thing more scary then sensing the darkness is feeling nothing at all.  "Fear not, for they that be with us are more then they that be with them." 

This was kind of a long post but I hope it helps to shed some "light" on the subject!  I would love comments.  Let us know what has worked for you!  Lots of love to you all!  (Thank you my friend, for letting me share your story, you are amazing!)